I just looked at my last blog entry. May 29th!! My last podcast was quite a while ago as well. The time has come to ” ‘fess up” and share why I have dropped out of the blogosphere. Some of you already know this, but early last summer I experienced troubling symptoms which ended up with my being unable to open my mouth more than a centimeter wide.
Early on August 28th, I was sleeping peacefully on a table while a team of surgeons removed cancerous lesions from my cheek.
The ten-hour surgery, which entailed an incision from my bottom lip, under my chin, and across to the right almost to my ear so they could pull back the skin and have access to the inside, was successful, thank God!!! After nine days in hospital I went home, with a monstrously swollen face, to learn to eat and talk again.
There are too many gruesome details to go into here. I know some people enjoy that sort of thing. I don’t. I don’t look at road kill, either. So, since in my opinion such graphic stuff is not at all edifying, or any more pleasant to read about than they have been to live through, I will spare.
Have I learned anything through this? (That seems to be the general Christian response to such a horrendous event in one’s life. One person even suggested it should build my character.) I can’t say I have learned anything that would make me glad for the trouble. Maybe I am a slow learner. Maybe, in time and retrospect, I will find buckets of wisdom and truth that I would only have found in this pit. If I do, you know I will share.
But this is sure: I experienced what I already knew to be true, that God’s word is my comfort and hope, that he sends help in many forms to keep me from falling completely into despair, (and yes, there were times I teetered on the brink!) that family and true friends are often his hands, feet, and sweet voice.
Ah! I did learn that I need people!! Really need people!
Before this, although I would not have been aware enough to say so, I had the belief that Jesus and I could handle anything. Just the two of us. But as one person offered during this adventure in faith, “Sometimes he doesn’t even need you!” This, to a firm believer in personal responsibility, was almost heresy! But, it was a relief, too, because for most of this journey I had not much ability to “handle” anything. For some of the time, I lay with trach tube, feeding tube, drainage tubes, etc., unable to do more than say inside, “Where are you, God?”
He was there. He came in the form of emails from friends and strangers that came just at the right time, in the late night prayers of my daughter and husband, in beautiful flowers and phone calls, in helpers of all kinds. Like the doctors, and like the nurse who found me in tears the night I looked at my face for the first time. He always sent someone to my side. He is Love, after all, isn’t he?
He also came in the many answered prayers of the faithful warriors who have held me up.
So, thanks to all you dear family, friends, and even strangers, who “staked yourself to my side”, and are still there to see me through, even months later.
Hmm, who does that sound like?
With all my heart I wish everyone a healthy, happy, prosperous 2013. Don’t ever forget, no matter what happens, God’s promises are his will for you.
PS: I am well on the road to recovering all. God is good.